We Were There:  The Last Newspaper at the New Museum

Newspaper, Newspapers! Get your newspapers! Get your newspapers while they last! Soon-to-be-no-more-these collectors’ items will one day be worth millions! Invest in your children’s future! In this economy? Why yes! This economy! I may be wearing a mask bearing the face of a black man, but I’m not black! Why, I’m like you, I’m just expressing myself! Doc says it’s healthy, and this mask is really a statement, don’t you think? Newspaper, Newspapers! There’s even an article about the death of print! And full coverage of the War! See my Livestrong bracelet? Oh, wait, No it’s a wristband from a day-long festival with a three-beer maximum at seven bucks a pop. I take my bracelet off every night before bed… Newspaper! Newspapers! The Arts! The Metro section! Business, Real Estate! Police reports! Collectors items! The printed word is no more! This is the very last issue ever to be printed. …You could only drink in the damned beer-pen far as hell away from the stage looking like a cow chewing its cud out the window of a moving car on the highway… Newspaper! Newspapers! Got plenty but they’re goin’ fast, so buy a bundle while they last. I’m like you! I like you, and from now on, I’ll tell you what’s happening in your community, your city, your world! I’m wearing a bathrobe! I’m sharing with you an intimate moment of my day! That’s why I forgot my Livestrong bracelet! I haven’t put it on yet! Newspaper! …boy it’s hard to eat in this mask, but I don’t care! Newspaper! Newspapers! Get your newspapers!